28 Apr How to Stop Overthinking After Your Husband Cheats
Finding out your husband cheated is devastating and it has likely left you with obsessive ruminating thoughts. You might struggle with sleep, have a hard time making decisions, or have difficulty trusting yourself and him after this discovery.
These are all natural ways your brain and body are working to cope with the emotional trauma infidelity causes and I’m here to help navigate through this. I’m Sariah Bastain, a specialist in helping married women heal from their husband’s infidelity so they can rebuild a thriving marriage.
This blog post is designed to guide you through understanding the impact of emotional trauma and provide advice on how to overcome these challenges.
Obsessive Ruminating Thoughts after Infidelity
One of the most common struggles after infidelity is obsessive ruminating thoughts.
- Wondering what he’s doing when you’re not around…
- Wondering what you should say when you’re with him…
- Overthinking how you should act…
- Wondering what will make you feel safe again…
- Trying to figure out how to get him to choose you over her…
This constant mental chatter can feel endless and exhausting. But it doesn’t stop there, you may also experience the following:
- Inability to make decisions, such as whether to stay in the marriage or leave.
- Lack of self-trust and intuition, fearing you’ll misjudge him again.
- Constant brain fog and feeling stuck in your head.
- Headaches, sleepless nights, and overanalyzing his every move.
These are all signs of emotional trauma taking a toll on your body.
Understanding The Impact of Emotional Trauma
Emotional trauma can affect your brain in the same way as a long-term brain injury.
Unfortunately, emotional trauma doesn’t simply disappear with time.
In fact, if you don’t find a way to clear the emotional trauma from your body, those trauma cells will continue to replicate which means years later, you’ll find yourself even more easily triggered than when it first happened.
Recognizing that you’re not alone in experiencing these symptoms is important. After trust in a marriage has been broken, it’s common to feel unsafe in the relationship, which triggers doubts, fears, anger, questions, and an overactive mind desperately trying to make sense of what happened.
Your brain is doing what it’s supposed to do: trying to keep you safe.
The problem is, it doesn’t know the difference between a trauma that happened yesterday and something that occurred a decade ago. This is why clearing the trauma and hitting the reset button on your nervous system is so crucial.
If left unaddressed, seemingly small things like the way he looks at you (or doesn’t look at you) or the sound of a text message on his phone might send you spiraling downward.
You might think that having more control over his phone, whereabouts, and connections would make you feel secure and safe. However, no matter how much you play detective or think through all possible ways to feel safe again, it never seems to work.
Moving Beyond Emotional Trauma
To move beyond the trauma, you must first clear it from your body and reset your nervous system.
This will help you regain a sense of peace and calmness within yourself, even without any external changes.
This newfound clarity, confidence, and self-trust will enable you to assess your marriage and decide, with certainty, if you want to stay and work on it or not.
If you’re interested in learning more about how to eliminate overthinking and heal after infidelity, I invite you to join my free masterclass where I show you the steps.